These few days, i have no idea why am feeling so down and things just not right.
I have give up with TTSH doctor for Janelle, dr had not been feeling very well and keep pushing the appointment back, and my girl had not been very stable after we dropped one of the drug. I have no idea what is the next steps and had been just waiting for the consultation for next steps, and she push the appt back again and again... I have enough of this. returned back to KKH and Janelle doc in charge is on leave for 2 months.. my goodness.. seee, things just not right.. The staff nurse just assigned me with one of the doctor on duty as Janelle really in need to see a doctor asap.
Yesterday I took a cab to KKH, when i was about to step out of the house, it started to rain... haiz.. Reached there early, and doctor was quite fast with her patient and was on schudele. And guess what, the patient just infront of me delayed the time, she took 1hr, and i waitied for an hr + before seeing the new doctor, and i have no idea why, i breakdown when telling her all my concern. Suddenly i feel that it is so painful to have a child like Janelle. Have to go through all these shit.. one after another. And just one trip to KKH $100 gone. haiz..
Today, no idea why too, scolded my MIL keeping carrying Janelle to feed her meals.. told her so many time, need to let Janelle seated in the chair when having meals. I want to let her know that is the table manner. I just said "Is us to teach her what to do and not baby to tell us what should be done" and she was so angry with me saying that she dont know how to take care of my baby, "this cannot and that cannot" and locked herself in the room. And my maid also get it from me, when i'm on the phone, she bring my girl downstair and chit chat with other maids... When i put down the phone, i cant find them, i was so panic and afriad something would happened to Jx, run downstair and saw her standing together with other maid talking happily. Pianz, i screamed at her in front of everyone saying that I can call the police saying you kidnap my child, without my permission and bring baby to somewhere else. screamed and shouted her all the way back home... pianz..
why am i so angry?? why?? need a break man.
my dear.. u are under too much stress.. find ways to relax urself.. if possible go out once awhile to have some fresh air (other then going hospital).. when I'm back SIN, i will ask u out ok...
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