After 9 months as a mother, it is not an easy task. Especially having such a baby like Janelle. As a mother, it required patience, knowledge, brave and lots lots of love. Since i have Janelle, i have never have a good night rest. She had been waking up almost every night for milk and play for at least 3 hrs before falling back to sleep. sometimes, when i'm lucky, she can sleep till 6am then wake up for milk and back to sleep, or kogan will volunteer to help taking care of her in the night. when i'm unlucky, haiz, she will wake up every 15min once her pacifier dropped off. I have been alone taking of her in the night 99% of the times. especially when kogan around, i cant complaint about janelle, cos he will throw a huge temper and says get someone to take care of jx, only return home over the weekend. After few such incident, what i can do is remain quiet when he is in town, not even scold janelle in the middle of night... if i'm damn tired or upset, i can only cry over my pillow, behind everyone. in front of janelle, i need to be very positive and happy, so that she will be positive and happy too. in front of everyone, i need to be strong.
Of cos, there is tiredness, but there is happiness. when seeing her growing up, hitting each of the milestones, every of her smile and laughter make my heart melts and forget about all of the tiredness i have been thought in the nights.
Janelle, Mummy loves you, my only wish now is that you are healthy... all illness stay away from you... far far away.
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