2nd one?

I have been thinking to have a 2nd one and close factory by the age of 30. 30 is coming to an end very soon, and i still dont have the courage to go for it especially when i look at Janelle. Yes, she is pretty and lovely.. but the energy needed on her is alot alot more than anyone.

I always envy my sil who can give birth to 3 healthy children and not lossing her freedom.

Last week, saw janelle classmate's mom having her 4th child, i admired her courage. Her never give up energy to her special needs child has always put me into a shameful position, especially when she has 2 normal child who started schooling. Yesterday, hus invitied a neighbour who parents are away from work and they have to eat out 3 times a day. seeing janelle enjoyed his accompany, following him every where he goes and janelle laugher when the two kids played together. I asked myself again, should i have a 2nd one? can i cope?

Taking care of a child alone is never been easy, especially when i have one special needs and I cant count on my hus on anything about taking care of children. I have yet found a helper that i let her take care of my child without worring.