Seek for 2nd opinion

04 June 2010, Friday..

Upon discharge on 22nd May, New drugs - Zonisamide was introduced. According to doctor, this is kind of relatively new drugs and it is imported from Japan. It had not been listed in Singapore subsided drugs, hence it is quite costly. One small little pill cost $10.50.

After Zonisamide was introduced, she had seizures-free for a week. The first seizure she had was on 23rd May, when she is having fever. Then one week of seizure free and no idea why, this week jx had been having seizures almost every night 31stMay, 1stJune, 3rdJune, 4thJune.. and the seizure seems to last longer abt 10 min which it scared me off. Suddenly, there is just this unknown fear in my bottom of heart that doesnt feel too good. And not sure why, this morning she starts to have fever.. haiz.. mummy's nightmare.. have not been sleeping well at all..

On 2n June 2010, i spend a night to do some research online and decided to seek for another 2nd opinion as we had been with KKH for a year, and there is no improvement. Called up SGH, but they dont take in young toddler, they referred to KKH. Called up NUH and they have a team of PD Neurology and make an appointment with them on 4June.

yesterday, saw there is a snack preview on TV for the advance in science regarding about epilepsy. The preview shows that there is this child who had been having fits, and by the time they open the brain, half of the brain cells had been damage. if you are interested to know what i had been through with Janelle, you can caught the show advance with science, channel U, Wed 930pm. **Joyce, You DONT watch...** My fear starts running wild in me.. then sil called to check on jx. when talking to her, i cant controlled myself and breakdown crying over the phone.very kind of her, keep telling me to accept what jx is, and no matter how jx becomes everyone in this family will love her.

This morning, she came over to my place saying that she want to accompany me to NUH. Went off during lunch time to meet NUH PD Neurology. According to her, surgery is out for jx as her her fits pattern i descript for her is generalize seizure where more than one point of her brain is effected. And there is no way to remove more than one point of brain cells. She will reckon to continue to trail and error on the drugs.. and the other option will be controlling diet where it goes high fats and sugar free. feeling like back to square one, helpless, distress and clueless on my next steps.

i gave myself 2 choices..
1> give up and accept what the doctor gives, accept jx and face the "SPECIAL" child
2> never give up, continue to see other specialities, might has just the one for jx..

In Mummy's diary to her child, doesn't have the words "GIVE UP" in the dictionary. everyone can choose to give up something, but a mummy will never give up on her own child. So am I.. I will continue to seek for 2nd opinion till i find someone who can tell me he is confident to return Janelle health to me.